Living Underwater

Lucky me.  I grew up on the ocean.  Not literally on top of the sea but right beside it during the summer months.  A charmed experience that provided me with some sturdy metaphors as well as delightful memories.

The vast expanse of the sea serves as an enviable teacher.  She cradles various mysteries and allows her students access only when she is good and ready.  Some of those lessons I keep close to my heart like a member of some secret society.   Her other treasures are widely known and speak to many with a ready understanding.

So it is with the power of the undertow.

My departure from this blog for the past 5 months is nothing short of a spiritual submersion.  One never sets out to abort a mission especially in its infancy.  It is poor form.  Yet life is unpredictable and the current of the unexpected wrapped itself around me this past winter.  The natural world took precedent and I was left grappling for even the most bare of bones in my spiritual life.  With unapologetic thrashing, I drifted further and further from the True Bread.  The focus shifted and my life became saturated with doctor’s appointments, Redbox, housework and anything else I could stuff under the sofa cushions.  A strange apathy became the order of the day.  It was uncomfortable.  Like having too much icing on your cupcake.

Occasionally I broke the surface.  It finally dawned on me that I was now captive to an unforseen force.  Gentle initial tugs had now become a foe dragging me down to the depths of the ocean floor.  Paddle and wiggle as I might, there was sparse relief.  Finally, a  seasoned seafarer whispered to my heart reminding me to surrender to the flow.

Key point: You are much more likely to survive if you don’t struggle and learn to breathe underwater.

Ok.  This did not come easily for me.  Yet eventually I recognized that my stilted prayers were still honest offerings and my personal ministry is in fact a verb not a noun.

So I waited.

Convulsed a little and then a lot.

Waited again.

And then like a dew drying in tropical air, it all returned.   Just like that.

Trust is not my mainstay and thankfully Jesus is patient.  Never once did He leave me while I lost sight of the shoreline.  Instead, He taught me to do the impossible for a land dweller.  No special apparatus is required for such feats of survival while down and under for extended periods.  One merely has to let go and move into the realm of true faith.  Looking back, I can see that He graced me in how to handle the perceived absence of Him.  It took what it took but even in my lack I came to recognize the lesson.

I guess He meant it when He said, “Trust in me for I shall never leave you.”

 

                                                                  Jesus, I trust in you.

 

It is good to be home Remnant Souls.  I missed you.

Your comrade in Christ,

Cindy

 

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Comments

  1. Great to read your words again… thank you!

  2. Planting Potatoes says:

    we are all blessed by your faithfulness to the journey you have been on…..so glad to see you stick around! When I first started blogging – an action which totally runs against my nature – I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to just chuck it all….but God kept nudging me gently and continues to give me what I need to continue on…now I can’t see myself doing anything else…..isn’t that the way God works with us? 🙂

  3. 10 stars. The solitary life brings renewed energy and appreciation. This spiritual painting would never have been drawn unless the sea of despondency tries to keep another victim.

    Fortunately, man is not made to live underwater; just visit. This writer is to be commended for such a well thought out and generous giving of the heart.

  4. Reblogged this on THE NAKED TRUTH 2 and commented:
    Superb writing, exceptional insight regarding a person’s underwater adventures.

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